The deployment slacker’s guide.
Sometimes, during military deployments, I feel like an awesome and supportive wife. Other times I feel like a deployment slacker. This is our 6th deployment. I was taking care of our 4 kids full time. So I had to streamline my time and only do things that were important or fulfilling to me. Mostly that included feeding and bathing people, cleaning the house, doing a million loads of laundry, and working out. Oh, and writing this blog.
All the other stuff? Nope, not happening.
Sometimes, I fall into the trap of comparing myself to other wives, and feeling guilty that I don’t do some of the deployment and Homecoming things depicted on Pinterest. But then I remember that not everyone does every one of those things! It doesn’t make me a bad wife, or a deployment slacker. It just means I know my own abilities and limitations, and I know what my husband actually cares about. So, if you are feeling guilty, like you are not good enough as a wife, or don’t do enough cute things for a girlfriend, let me give you a little dose of reality.Real military spouses don't do every deployment idea on their Pinterest boards! Click To Tweet
Here are all the things I didn’t do this deployment:
I didn’t do a single Pinterest craft. Not my thing. Ain’t got time for that.
I didn’t decorate my care packages. It was enough just to get the kids through the grocery store and post office with me.
I didn’t write many letters. He had email. And letters took forever to get there.
I didn’t make a Homecoming sign. Again, that’s a craft. Noticing a theme here?
I didn’t rearrange furniture.
I didn’t buy any new furniture.
I didn’t paint any walls or decorate any rooms.
I didn’t have a cute deployment countdown jar filled with Hershey kisses. We just crossed off days on a calendar.
I didn’t decorate the inside of the house to welcome him home. (But I hung our free Build a Sign banner on the outside!)
I didn’t decorate the bed with rose petals or a sign.
I didn’t buy balloons or flowers.
I didn’t make a beer cake or a welcome home basket.
I didn’t lose 20 pounds.
I didn’t obsess over my Homecoming outfit or even go shopping for one.
I didn’t get my hair or nails done.
And you know what? He was ok with ALL of that! I know, because I would check with him. He didn’t know care package decorating was a thing, and it just confused him. “I don’t get it,” he told me, “we just throw the boxes away. Why would you decorate them?”
Why? Good question. Because everyone else is doing it, I guess? Because I feel like I should?Deployments and Homecoming aren't about impressing anyone except your lover. Click To Tweet
But I’m not trying to impress other people. I’m just trying to love my guy. And my guy doesn’t care about arts and crafts. Which is convenient, since that is not my strength. He doesn’t care about food or beer presentation, so long as there are some good treats in the fridge ready for him. He doesn’t need signs and balloons. Just us, his family, waiting for him with smiles and hugs. He doesn’t like me in makeup or with a manicure. He just likes me for who I am, wrinkles and all.
So when I am feeling like a deployment slacker, like I am not enough, I have to remind myself: I am enough for him. We are enough for each other. And that is all that matters.
So what have you chosen NOT to do this deployment???
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