Comments on: 8 Reasons the End of Deployment is the WORST

By: Lizann

Lizann — Thu, 06 Apr 2023 12:24:32 +0000

In reply to Sooks.

So sorry to hear your post-deployment time gas been so stressful. That has to be so hard on both of you.

When there are major stressors right after deployment, it delays the Reintegration stage. Many of those emotions and adjustments won’t come out until later, probably after this training. So it will take longer than usual to get back to ‘normal.’

You’re doing the right thing being patient and giving space. Stay strong and hang in there a little longer!

By: Sooks

Sooks — Thu, 06 Apr 2023 12:10:57 +0000

So good to read others have the same feelings.
My partner got back from a 6 month deployment two weeks ago then has had to go on 4 weeks training straight after. This coincided with his uncle getting seriously ill near death so he literally shut down before he went on training and isn’t replying to my messages. Without doubt this is awful and much worse than any other deployment after. We saw each other only afew times before he had to go again. I’m giving him space to contact me when hes ready now. Feels awful though

By: Lizann

Lizann — Wed, 18 Jan 2023 01:38:31 +0000

In reply to Brittany.

That’s totally understandable– military spouses represent a diverse population, and every couple has their own expectations about household responsibilities.

This article was mostly focused on the stress and emotional burden that becomes even heavier at the end of a deployment. This is an experience that is universal across the military community. It doesn’t matter how many kids you have or don’t have, how many hours you work or don’t work, and whether or not you enjoy housework: the fact is that there’s an emotional strain at the end of deployment. It doesn’t just come from housework. It comes from all the responsibilities you’ve been shouldering during deployment. This article focuses on why that happens, ways to work through it, and the fact that no one should feel like they are having the “wrong” emotions if they suddenly feel exhausted or overwhelmed instead of happy when they get close to the return date.

Things do not need to be “perfect” at the end of deployment. The article said that. The important thing is to focus on what each of you need as a couple to recover from all the time apart. If for you, that means time away in a quiet place alone, then that’s fine, and I hope it is relaxing and refreshing to you!

By: Brittany

Brittany — Wed, 18 Jan 2023 01:05:06 +0000

In reply to Amira.

I don’t like this article. Our lives are all about them. Not all military spouses get to be dependas. Some of us work outside the home, care for our children, cook, clean, kids sports, appointments and care for dogs. I’m not the least bit worried about him resting, having a warm meal and deep cleaning a house. He can pick up a mop. I don’t care if his vehicle is perfect. We all know that sit around just like they did prior to deployment. Just in the way. When he gets back I’m headed to somewhere that I can get a break. He can cook, clean, get kids off to school, homework and him go to work.

By: Lizann

Lizann — Sun, 05 Jun 2022 03:34:20 +0000

In reply to Ellie.

You’re welcome! I’m glad you found this page, and it’s certainly normal to have a mixture of emotions. Wishing you a smooth and successful Homecoming! *hugs*

By: Ellie

Ellie — Sun, 05 Jun 2022 01:02:14 +0000

i’m so glad i found this. my partner is navy and our relationship started 2 months before a 7-month deployment so i really needed to read this and feel my emotions and fears about him coming home in a few days’ time validated. even though it’s a positive thing, it’s not always all sunshine and rainbows, right? emotions are complicated! thank you for sharing this, especially for someone as lost as me to find. i needed it.

By: Lizann

Lizann — Mon, 07 Mar 2022 12:35:41 +0000

In reply to Renalie.

You are so welcome! I know it isn’t easy, but there is definitely comfort in understanding the deployment cycle, and knowing that many others are experiencing these same emotions. It will work out, but it may take some time, so just keep going 1 day at a time!

By: Renalie

Renalie — Mon, 07 Mar 2022 07:24:30 +0000

I really appreciate this article. I had gotten married in April and my husband deployed in November – I felt like we only got the chance to be “roomates” and didn’t really get to experience living together as newlyweds. I went to the store the other day got ready bought groceries and then came home and finally had a chance to sit down. Suddenly a wave of guilt fell over me and I broke down because I realized that my independence had become so much greater than what it was and now that I knew his coming homecoming date I just feel so anxious. I never want to do anything. I can’t sleep and the uneasy feeling in my stomach won’t go away. I now know that it isn’t just me. This is also my first deployment. First everything regarding being involved with military and the process has been such a transition. This article brings me some kind of peace. So I thank you for that.

By: Lizann

Lizann — Mon, 28 Feb 2022 00:35:58 +0000

In reply to Amira.

Yessss, it’s a normal stage, and I’m so happy I could help you during this time!

By: Amira

Amira — Sun, 27 Feb 2022 22:55:56 +0000

In reply to Eliza.

I’m so glad I found this article. My husband is back in 10 days…. And today I broke down… Realizing that I have been doing everything on my own, being pregnant and taking care of my 18 months daughter… I tried to share with him some of my feelings, but he doesn’t seem to grasp the reality of it. Thank you again… Now I will cry and rest and take my time and not feel guilty.