Hi Kate,
That is certainly frustrating and it’s natural to wonder about it. A few years ago, this was a common deployment situation, but now it is a lot easier to have video communication and regular calls during deployments, especially if he has texting availability. It’s possible some of it is his personality and the nature of the relationship– if this is how you have always communicated so far, he is used to it and not pushing for change. The lack of privacy is deployment living situations is also a very real issue, which makes it difficult to ever have a sincere video conversation.

I think it’s fair to voice your concerns and desires, and tell him you would really love to hear his voice more often or to see him on camera. Maybe there is a way he can make that work a few times in the remaining month or so before he comes home. If not, listen to the reasons or excuses he provides. Do they sound sincere? Does it sounds like he wants to hear you and see you too? Or is there something empty about his excuses? That way, instead of overthinking, you will have actual information and statements from him to think through.

I know the final month of deployment feel extremely long, and I’m sending you a big hug to get you through it! Worst case scenario, things continue the same for this final month, and then you can work out new communication times and expectations for your relationship when he returns to the States.

Oh my goodness, that’s not normal at all. A few questions to help assess your situation:
1. Have you met him in person before? Or is there any chance he’s a fake profile who was scamming you somehow?
2. Do you have a way to contact his family or his military unit Family Readiness person to see what’s going on? If you have his unit information, I can help you look up contacts.
3. What part of the world did he deploy to, and did he say how long it was supposed to be? They usually know an approximate deployment length in advance.

I’m sorry you are in this situation, and hope we can help!