The problem: You are invited to a military Ball and aren’t sure what to expect. Keep reading because: I’ll put your mind at ease so you know the traditions, what to wear, and how to have fun!
The first time I went to a military ball was 17 years ago, when my boyfriend (now my husband) invited me to his first unit’s Ball. Neither one of us had attended one before. When I asked “What should I wear?” his helpful answer was, “A dress, I guess.”
I was in college and hadn’t been to a formal event in years. I dug out a dress from a high school dance: crushed velvet with sparkly butterflies on the skirt. It was fine: full-length, covered all the appropriate places. I didn’t have any dressy shoes, so I wore boots. I figured they would be mostly covered by the gown anyway. But as soon as I walked into the room, I realized that my outfit was more like Homecoming than Prom. I wished I had known, and spent some time shopping for a slightly more formal dress.
“I wish I had known what type of dress to wear to my first Military Ball!” ~The Seasoned Spouse
Since then, I have probably attended about 10 Marine Corps Birthday Balls with my husband (I lost count). Most of them have been wonderful and fun. There have also been some awkward moments, like when some of our friends were already drunk before the ceremony started. Or when I flew out to the ball and didn’t eat most of the day, so I was hangry waiting for dinner to be served!
Maybe you are a military girlfriend who just got your first invitation. Or maybe you have been a spouse for years and either never had a chance to attend, or avoided the ball on purpose. Either way, I am here to help you feel comfortable and beautiful on ball night, so you can make the most of this unique experience!
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What to wear to a military ball:
First, let me just say: This blog is about encouraging military spouses, not putting anyone down. I am not here to make fun of anyone’s dress choices or to waste time being jealous of a younger wife’s appearance. That’s not who I am. I want everyone to feel beautiful and confident at the Ball, because I know you will spend a lot of time and money getting yourself ready. So here’s the basic guidelines:
- A military ball is a formal event. Military members will be in their fanciest dress uniform. As a date, your attire should be equally formal. This generally means a full-length dress, not a shorter “cocktail length” dress. But it doesn’t need to be a puffy ball gown and have a train, either. I know, the rules are silly. I didn’t make them up– I’m just telling you what everyone else will be wearing! (The exception is a Navy Khaki Ball, which is a little less formal, so you can wear a shorter dress to the Khaki Ball.)
- “Appropriate attire” is a different definition for everyone, but this is a work function, and you may meet your service member’s boss or commanding officer. We have also had Gold Star family members or Vietnam veterans sitting at our table. So try to cover underwear, cleavage, and the midriff. If you have to ask, “Is this showing too much?” the answer is probably yes.
- Wear something comfortable. This includes dress and shoes. You will be wearing it all night, doing lots of sitting, standing, and dancing. If your dress is so tight you can’t move, you’re not going to have as much fun. Also–bring a wrap or cover for your shoulders, because it gets cold outside!
- Color doesn’t matter. Lots of people like to match the military uniform. But wearing a unique color will stand out and get lots of compliments too. The choice is yours!
“If you have to ask if the dress shows too much… the answer is probably yes.” ~The Seasoned Spouse
DO these things at a military ball:
- Eat something beforehand. The ceremony can be long, and dinner isn’t served until the ceremony and keynote speaker are finished. If you start drinking earlier in the day, you need food to balance that out.
- Be prepared to spend some time alone. This event is for your service member. There are people they will want to greet or have conversations with. Or they may wait in line forever for drinks. Or they are occupied for the first hour because they are on the color guard. Don’t get mad, just make some friends at your table or find someone else to hang out with.
- Follow directions about when to stand or sit. Be respectful. There is a whole ceremony before dinner with a flag procession, cake cutting, and guest speaker. This is the serious part of the evening, so just follow along with your service member.
- Have fun! This is a night out with your date: laugh, make friends, dance, drink, etc.
DON’T do these things at a military ball:
I’ve seen lots of mishaps at the Ball. Don’t be that guy (or that date) who is a public nuisance and falling out of your chair during the ceremony, picking fights, or throwing up in the bus on the way home. Yes, I have seen ALL of that!
- Don’t drink too much! Please be responsible.
- Don’t spend too much on a dress: You can always borrow from a friend or go to a giveaway near your base. Or use the FB pages to get a good deal!
- Don’t get up and leave during the guest speaker: You are expected to remain in your seat for at least an hour during the ceremony. So visit the restroom ahead of time, and get a drink before you sit down.
Yes It’s my first military ball for my friend who’s in college at this military school he asked me to be his date. I have never been to one and he doesn’t really know what I’m supposed to wear snd I’m never good with these things. Is there any other tips you can give?
Sure! You can search on Pinterest, but in general look for formalwear or bridesmaid dresses–full length, and no crazy slits or cleavage showing. And have fun!
Hi, my question is, do you know of any good resources that offers free or discount dresses, in Southern CA, that would be appropriate to wear to a Birthday Ball? Specifically, open to anyone and not just for a Military spouse.
Thank you,
Tammy
Great question! There is a nationwide non-profit called Operation Deploy My Dress that meets this need, but I think they only serve military spouses, so they are not open to everyone. Honestly, your best bet for a free or discounted dress if from a Thrift Store or local Facebook/Craigslist sales pages. Often, people buy a bridesmaid dress when they are in a wedding, and then don’t need to wear it again. Depending on the style, a bridesmaid dress is usually appropriate for a military ball. So I suggest searching local store on online sales pages for “bridesmaid dress” and see if you can find something affordable that way.
Thank you, I hadn’t considered bridesmaid dresses. I will look in that direction. Much appreciated.
Hi I have an Air Force ball coming up and got a pretty light blush colored gown that shimmers, it is glittery. The glitter is really pretty but it comes off a little, is this ok?
Sure, sounds like fun! No one is going to kick you out for shedding glitter everywhere, haha, but check with your date first to see if they mind getting glitter on their uniform. It can be frustrating to clean off afterwards.
Hi, I am going to my first military ball this December and I was curious about patterned heels. I’m wearing a long green, one shouldered dress. I cans decide if I want closed toes heels or a fun snake skin pattern. Any suggestions??
I have a Marine Birthday Ball to go to this Saturday. Should I get a corsage for myself, and boutonniere for my husband? Neither of us have ever been so I am not sure.
Any help is appreciated!
Glad you asked– no flowers are necessary! You can certainly wear some if you wish, but the service member does not wear any flowers in uniform, and I don’t remember ever seeing women wear them as dates. So don’t bother with them unless it’s something important to you!
Thank you SO much! I REALLY appreciate the prompt answer! ❤️
Hey! I just need an opinion! We just went shopping for my first military ball gown, but I was so drawn to a jumpsuit. What do you think about fancy jumpsuits? They’ve been on the red carpet, used as wedding “dresses”, and more.
Ohhh, this is a good question. They can be very fancy and classy. It’s a more recent style, so I don’t think I’ve seen them at a Ball before, but you could certainly pull it off if you accessorized and dressed it up a bit. Wear what you enjoy!
Im attending my first military ball and have a dark navy dress Are black shoes okay to wear or would it be acceptable to wear red? And the dress has a high neck on it ..should I wear pearls or something shiny
Honestly, that all sounds gorgeous, so I think you’ll have a winning combination no matter what you choose! Black or red shoes are fine. Necklace or no necklace, could work either way. You don’t always have to go out and get something nw. So if you have a favorite necklace or accessory that works with the dress, then go for that. I hope you have a fun time! 🙂
Thank you for your words of wisdom
Hi! Im attending to my very first ball with my significant other and I was gravitated towards a burgundy dress that is quite fitted, floor length, and has a quite higher slit and we both agree it does look formal, but I was just wondering if a high slit on the side is just a no-no? (think the dress Angelina Jolie wore on the mr and mrs smith poster).
It’s kind of a matter of opinion. There will be lots of dresses there with different lengths of slits. There isn’t an official rule, so the worst you do is raise some eyebrows. I would just ask if it will be comfortable for you. When you’re standing up and sitting down, will you feel self-conscious, or have to re-adjust every time? Will you be able to dance without showing your underwear? If you’re already asking, it sounds like you may not feel 100% secure about it. I think the important thing is for you to feel beautiful, comfortable, and secure in whatever dress you choose.
I am going to a Navy Khaki Ball later this month. This is my first event like this as a girlfriend. I bought a cocktail type dress. Should I wear panty hose or go bare legged?
Probably wear hose. They are a little more classy/professional.
How about the other way around? She’s military and I’m not. Anything I need to be aware of that’s different, things I may run into?
Not much that is different. Non-military men wear a suit usually, not a tuxedo. It can be a 2-piece or 3-piece suit, your choice. Definitely wear a tie or bowtie. Other than that, the info above is the same. Enjoy!
I have a fuschia strapless highlow dress that is a solid color. Its satin. It’s beautiful actually. Is this too vibrant for a military ball? We are going as guests to a service member. My husband is also a former marine. Thanks!
Not too much at all! You’ll stand out in the crowd of dress blues, but that’s not a bad thing at all. There will be so many different shades of dresses, and lots of bright ones. Sounds gorgeous, enjoy your time!
Going to my first Navy Christmas Party next week with my boyfriend – How different is the “dress code” for the Christmas Party rather than a Ball? Any other expectations or things i should be prepared for going into the Christmas Party?
It’s not as formal, so a cocktail dress, party dress, or something around knee-length is fine, no need to get a ballgown. There won’t be as much ceremony in the beginning, and no cake cutting, but most of the other expectations are similar. Enjoy it and have a great time!
What are the standards for the back? Is lace up fine? What should you avoid?
I’m playing in a band for a military ball!
(I’m a female lol !)
I’m wondering do we need to follow the military dress code?
It’s a military ball for New Years. The ad states (Formal Military Ball) can I wear a knee length dress? It’s red with a few shiny things on it. Will the guys in the band be ok with a black suit and tie?
Help!!
That sounds fun! Yes, suit and tie is appropriate for the men in the band. A cocktail or bridesmaid style dress should be fine for you. Just make sure it isn’t too short or revealing if you’ll be standing up on stage above the audience members. 😉
Hi Liz. My husband and I are going to a military ball with my son who is a cadet at an academy. My question is should I stay away from patterns and go with a more solid color? Also is bare shoulders inappropriate?
How fun! Bare shoulders are fine. I see mostly solid colors, but wear whatever looks good on you and makes you feel comfortable.
As another seasoned spouse, I’d say in my opinion that a knee-length dress is fine and not uncommon to see at balls. I myself will rarely buy floor-lengthed gowns. I’m 5’1″ and even dresses that are petite end up needing to be hemmed (and that’s just more time and money). This also puts most knee-lengthed dresses well below my knee and I have a few that are very formal looking. While the etiquette guides will say “no”, I find that there are plenty of things in those books that need updating, and this is one of them.
Hi I’m attending a dining out with my husband on Saturday and I wanted to know if wearing a long dress is too much? Thanks
Can you wear a spaghetti strap dress?
Yes, absolutely! You’ll see strapless, off-the-shoulder, spaghetti straps, etc.
Is a sparkly dress allowed? Thanks <3
Yes! They can be very classy, and some years they are a popular choice. 🙂
Hi, my husband has been in the army for 4 years now and this is the first ball that we will be attending, and I am hoping to get help on the dress front. We cannot afford to purchase a dress right now, but I have the bridesmaid dress that i wore two years ago to my brother’s wedding and was hoping to get comments as to whether it is ok to wear. The dress is floor length, doesn’t show too much cleavage and comes with a shawl. It does however have a slit that only shows up if you make it a point to show it. But I heard you’re supposed to stay away from neon colors and this dress is seafoam green. What should I do? Can I wear it still?
Colors are absolutely a personal choice–there’s no rule about which colors to wear. (I’ve worn a seafoam green dress twice before!) Sounds like a lovely dress, and as long as you feel comfortable in it, then I encourage you to wear it!
Also, if you want a different dress, then check out Operation Deploy Your Dress, which is a non-profit that gives away ball gowns to military spouses. Maybe they have a location near you???
Is it customary to get a corsage for a female who is in service and will be in dress uniform?
Good question! No, I don’t believe they are authorized to wear any flowers in dress uniform. And I don’t usually see many corsages on women at the ball in general.
This is my first military ball (army) and I was wondering if I could wear a one shoulder dress or an off the shoulder dress (it has spaghetti straps then some of the shoulder) and is it better to wear flats or heels?
Either style of dress is great! I’m sure you’ll see both types there.
For shoes, most women wear dressy heels or strappy heels, but then they also kick them off later in the night, haha. So I say wear whatever is comfortable for standing and dancing. Enjoy and have a great time!
Hi! Attending my first ball this coming October and I was wondering if a deep blue (almost matching the formal uniform my husband has)medium floral patterned that is below the knee (one skirt part is sheer and 5 inches below the knee and the inside skirt sits above the knee and long sleeve acceptable? It does have a deep neckline that I think I can fix by gluing/stitching it closer together to not be revealing.
The dress was bought for a wedding guest outfit that I never got to wore and was just wondering if it’s formal enough.
The dress sounds lovely, and it’s a shame you didn’t get to wear it for the previous event. It may be more of a “cocktail” style than a formal dress. Ultimately, you can choose to wear whatever you want and whatever makes you comfortable. But you should know that most women there will be wearing a full-length dress. Instead of something you would wear as a wedding guest, most people wear something closer to a bridesmaid style gown. I don’t usually see any floral patterns. Most dresses are solid colors, with decorations like sequins or lace layers.
If it helps, talk to other dates in the unit or look at Ball photos from previous years (maybe on their Facebook page) to see what styles are most common near you. Whatever you choose to wear, I’m sure you will look beautiful, and I hope you have a great time!
I attend my first navy ball next month. Now I’m short. I understand long dresses are what should be aimed for. I trip alot over them and dont have much time to find a dress then try to get it altered. So I was curious if I could do a dress that is shorter in the front that tappers down to full length in the back?
I totally understand, and I can relate. Yes, the hi-low style is fine too. You could also look up “cocktail dresses,” which are usually shorter, but pick one that is below the knee or 3/4 length and still has that formal or semi-formal vide.
Hello! Going to my first military ball in December. I have a floor length black velvet dress. It is spaghetti stoppered and covers right above my cleavage. It has nude on the sides all the way down with a black floral pattern over it. Will this be fancy enough for the ball. It is a classy dress and comes with a clever shawl. My mom wants me to wear black gloves with it but I don’t know about the gloves part. What do you think?
It sounds very classy, and the shawl will come in handy if you get chilly!
The gloves would look cool, but honestly no one else will be wearing them, so not necessary.
Okay awesome. Thank you for your help!
Hello! I tried to post and don’t know if it worked. First Military ball in December. I have a floor length black velvet dress that is very classy style with floral pattern down the sides with nude material underneath. It is tight in the upper body area and but not in a bad way. Mom wants me with wear gloves with it and it already had a velvet shawl. What do you think?
I just replied to the other comment. I hope you have a great time! Your outfit sounds beautiful!
My first military ball is coming up in college. I was just wondering if you would recommend closed back dresses as much as possible?
You can wear whatever type of back is comfortable for you. I’ve seen some stunning backless dresses, but I always get cold and bring a wrap for my shoulders, so I wouldn’t wear one personally.
Hi! Attending a formal navy ball for my husband’s command…he’ll be wearing dinner dress blues. Is it ever okay to wear a white dress to a ball?
Hi, is it ever okay to wear white to a formal navy ball? (Husband will be wearing dinner dress blues)
Sure, I don’t see why not.
Hello! I am going to my first hall this weekend and I can’t find anything anywhere on what to do for hair and makeup. I see a lot of wives on Facebook wanting to know where to get theirs done, but is it okay to do my hair and makeup myself? Does it need to be super fancy and pop or is it okay to just do it myself? Thanks for your help!
Yes, totally fine to do it yourself! I’ve done my own sometimes, just for simplicity (and to save money). Some people prefer to have a professional stylist do something different for the Ball, if they don’t like doing fancy styles themselves. I’ve done that before, too, if I want my hair to stay curled all night, haha.
But there are no regulations about it, so it’s just a matter of personal preference. Enjoy your night out!
Hi, I have an upcoming navy ball and it’s my first time so, I’m not sure what to wear because I feel it’s different than a military ball. Any help will be welcome, please!
Hi there. I was invited to a military ball and I have tattoos on my shoulders. Should I attempt to cover them with a sleeved dress?
No, you don’t have to! Unless you don’t want someone to see them, if they are inappropriate or prompt unusual questions. But otherwise, tattoos are so common in the military community– among service members and spouses–that no one will blink at a dress that shows them off. Pick a dress that is comfortable and makes you feel good about yourself. Enjoy!
I have a question! I’m going to my first ball in years, and while shopping I fell in love with a gown with a soft floral pattern. I wouldn’t call it loud. It’s all romantic pink tones. I read somewhere that prints are a no-no, but if I have to buy a dress, I’d like to get one I really love. Any insight?
Also, how much cleavage is too much? I feel like if I get this one appropriately altered it will look fine, but I’m also short, so barring a high neckline, some cleavage is going to be present regardless.
The dress, for reference. I know it’s juniors, but I’m a small gal.
https://www.macys.com/shop/product/say-yes-to-the-prom-juniors-embroidered-floral-lace-up-gown-created-for-macys?ID=15041808&CategoryID=18109&isDlp=true&isDlp=true
Hi Jenny,
This dress is lovely! It’s true that most ball gowns are solid color and there are fewer floral patterns, but there is no “rule” against it, and this one looks very classy. It may stand out a bit in the crowd, but in a unique and good way. I think you would get compliments on it. It’s definitely important to wear a dress you love and feel good wearing!
Some cleavage is fine, you’ll see plenty that night, haha! Just make sure you’re comfortable in your own dress, and limit the chance of any wardrobe malfunctions. I’m short too, so I always have to get straps shortened to make a dress be the right height and cover me correctly.
Enjoy your night!
The dress is very pretty. Everything I read and what was taught to me was a solid color to compliment the uniform and not be revealing; it should be modest, not flashy.
Depending on bust size, the dress, in my opinion, is too revealing. You don’t want to spend the evening worrying if you’re hanging out
Hi, would an off the shoulder dress with sequins on it be ok? I’ve never been to a military ball before and I don’t want to be underdressed or overdressed.
Yes, usually there are some sequin dresses. And plenty off the shoulder. So that would all fit right in and seem appropriate.
Thank you!
It also has a little bit of a train, not super long or anything but I’ve been reading that that’s a no no. What do you think? https://share.temu.com/ZSusAEFIur
Also, that’s not the exact dress but it’s similar to the one I have
Most dresses won’t have a train. It’s a personal choice, but it could get inconvenient with sitting and standing during the ceremony, or needing to hold it up for dancing. It could get stepped on or ripped.
Would this be okay for an army ball?
Miao Duo Women’s V Neck Satin Bridesmaid Dresses with Slit Spaghetti Straps Formal Prom Gowns with Pockets MDPM96 https://a.co/d/2qQ0UCW
That looks lovely! When you try it on, make sure you sit, stand, move around, and try a few dance moves. You want to be comfortable and confident so you can have a great time!
Are dresses with open backs appropriate?
I have a black glittery dress that has spaghetti straps. It’s fitted so it shows off my curves but I wouldn’t say revealing since I have no cleavage. Is tightness considered a no-go?
That sounds fine. There are many tight dresses, haha. Enjoy, and take lots of pictures!
I was just invited to my first military ball by my boyfriend, which feels weird to say at my age 😳 I know the dress should be formal and probably full length and I don’t like to show cleavage at events of this nature anyway…my question is about my back. Is an open back dress appropriate? And can I wear flats? Heels and I, we just don’t get along.
No problem! Flats are great, especially if you’re planning to dance. Lots of people switch over or take off their heels then anyway.
Backless is a personal choice. There will likely be other backless dresses there, so you wouldn’t stand out or be inappropriate. I always say wear what makes you feel comfortable and good about yourself. Have fun!
Hi I have a high school military ball coming up and I’m really nervous I’m going alone and I don’t want to mess up the receiving line how do I introduce myself?