How to Handle Military Life Stress as a Military Spouse
The problem: military life can be really, really stressful. Why you should keep reading: because you know you want a laugh and need to unload some of your military life stress too!
The heavy burden of military life stress
Usually, my posts are positive and encouraging. But I am also honest. And today, I’m not feeling very positive. I’m dealing with military life stress.
I’m tired. I’m cranky. I’m short-tempered with my kids. Yes, it’s because my husband is gone, but he hasn’t even deployed yet. He has been gone a few weeks for each of the past few months, and now he will be gone for a few more. All this training, just to prepare for the real deal: the 7-month deployment hanging over our heads. Sometimes, the pre-deployment stress is worse than the deployment itself.
Today, in a lousy temper, I tried to decide what was bothering me so much. After all, my husband being gone is a fairly common occurrence for us, as it is for many military families. I am used to running the house and managing our four children without him.
But it is not just the fact that he is gone or that we are looking down the barrel of a deployment. It’s all the million other examples of military life stress. Because, let’s face it–sometimes this life is hard. Military spouses are strong and resilient and can deal with almost anything. But we’re still human. The many types of military life stress can gradually wear me down until I feel like breaking. Sound familiar?
What are these exhausting burdens of military life stress? When I sat down to list them, the list just kept growing. On a good day, the average military spouse deals with at least two or three of these. On a bad day, they may face ten or more at once.
We are strong. We are patient. All of us carry this military life stress around with us. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy or that they ever get any lighter.
“Military spouses are used to carrying stress around with us. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy.” ~The Seasoned Spouse
Sure, a non-military family may deal with sick kids and car trouble too, I know that. But every burden is heavier when you are in a strange town, far from family, and your spouse is deployed.
My fellow military spouses, if you are feeling overwhelmed or frustrated by seemingly trivial annoyances, I hear you. We all have bad days. So for just a few minutes, let’s sit down, open our packs, and look at our burdens together. Maybe airing them will make it a little easier to pick them back up.
Worrying about your spouse’s survival during deployment.
Always having to take care of everything on your own, because your spouse is gone, your family is far away, and none of your friends’ husbands are around, either.
Making a good friend, then learning that one of us has to move soon.
Meeting a new friend who seems to click really well, then having your spouse tell you that you can’t hang out together as couples because the service members work together and are different ranks. (Darn fraternization rules).
Yes, this life has plenty of challenges. I hear you. I am right there with you, just struggling to get through it all. Even though it’s hard, I also know that we’ve got this.
You can find support and encouragement for many of these situations of military life stress, plus find inspiring ideas for moving forward through them. It’s all in my book, Open When: Letters of Encouragement for Military Spouses. Each chapter is a letter that helps you face a specific challenge along your military journey–from basic training all the way until your service member is ready to leave the military! You can purchase it on Amazon, buy directly from the publisher, or order an autographed copy here.
How to deal with military life stress
If you are dealing with some of these hassles today, I encourage you to:
Take a deep breath.
Eat something somewhat healthy. (I’m always crankier when I’m hungry).
Find someone to vent to, preferably another military spouse. I recommend the comments section here. I always respond!
Get some sleep. Turn off the phone or computer and go to bed! Half of my bad days are caused by not sleeping enough the night before.
Ask for help. If the problems are still there tomorrow, start reaching out for help. A friend, neighbor, or military resource can help in many of these situations.
What military life stress would you add to our list?
Love it! My husband came home last week and said he’s volunteering for a deployment that STARTS a couple months before he’s supposed to EAS and is extending his contract and I’m gonna be moving home with our son…not super happy about that.
Love this! These are all very true!
Thanks so much for reading, I hope it made you smile a bit!
Love it! My husband came home last week and said he’s volunteering for a deployment that STARTS a couple months before he’s supposed to EAS and is extending his contract and I’m gonna be moving home with our son…not super happy about that.
Oh my, that’s a lot to handle all at once. One thing at a time, deep breaths, and know that we are here for you!
When you finally hear from them, then they disappear mid conversation and you don’t hear from them until a few days later
Saving LESS money while they are gone than when he was home
Yes. Both so true. 🙁